The main reason im coming on here discussing this is because i want to hear opinions from other people who have felt isolated for living or likeing certain things that isnt really harboured in the mainstream society.
Im 19 now, and i have never really had many friends, just really some people i used to hang with from time to time, but no one i would call a true friend.
Ive mainly been cast aside for my taste for unpopular music, and for expressing my opinions, and most people dont like it if they decide to be popular instead of being themselves and having their own opinions.
Most of the people in my school liked music such as, rhianna, techno music, 50 cent, and pretty much what makes up mainstream popular music. I was never into that music because i always felt the need for complexity and feeling in a piece of art/music.
So i developed a taste for creative music, like death metal, thrash metal. Bands like Megadeth, slayer, metallica, cannibal corpse, Dying fetus, necrophagist ect. And i also love orchestra music, with conducters like john williams.
And i always used to come out with my opinion on subjects that took my interest.
For example, one time in college, the whole class was talking about how great rhianna's music is.
In my opinions, shes an overated, very low talented 'muscian' if you will, but i didnt tell the rest of the class what i thought about her. And they saw me in my cannibal corpse and slayer t shirts, and they'd be like, "look at that freak, what a horrible taste in music he has. All it is screaming and talking about pain and raping people, and yadda yadda youve heard it all before".
And i responded with, "So having a different taste in music to yours makes me a freak".
And they all went silent for about 20 seconds and one of the girls said, "wearing t-shirts like that and listening to music like yours, makes you a freak because they talk about horrible things like murder death and pain, youre never going to get a girlfriend because your a depraved, psycopathic loser and no-one likes you".
And i responded with " If listening to music, which includes lyrics about pain and death..." (actually not all of my music is about that, but whats wrong about those sorts of subjects anyway, just because theyre different to what other sing about) "... makes me different from people who listen to mainstream music and live mainstream lives just to fit in with the crowd, then im totally happy, because the less i am like you, the happier it makes me feel, i dont care what you or anyone thinks about my way of life, or the choices i make, because i live for me and not for anyone else, and im proud that im expressing myself like this, because it shows i have more character than you or anyone in this classroom could ever hope to posses"
Ofcourse the whole room burst into laughter, and i had words like loser and retard thrown at me, but i didnt care.
Im sorry to all who are reading this, but my main point is yet to come, please read on, thank you and i really do appriciate your answers.
Anyway, When we got into our final year of college, a new girl had joined my form. She didnt look very happy, and she wasnt sociable at all. She had long flowing black hair, and a very perculiar dress sense, and the minute i spotted that, i loved her from the moment i saw her. Because she wasnt afraid to express her self and dress the way she wanted. She was also named " the freaky goth girl" after about 3 hours of being in the school.
She was pretty much the girl version of me.
I couldnt believe that i was actually nervous to talk to her.
But after about a week, i saw her sitting by herself at a dinner table in the school lunch room,
and since i was obviously by myself aswell I spent 30 minutes building up the courage, and i went over to her table, and asked her if i could sit with her. And basically from that moment on, we totally clicked like a perfectly oiled clock. We both appriciated each others terrible sense of humour (haha),
and the fact that we like the same things.
We were friends from that day on, and we werent called freaks anymore, we were called the freak couple. Which were more than happy to take.
To cut a long story short, she was italian, and the day i finally plucked the courage to ask her out, or was going to, she said she was going to move back to italy, and that it was best that we didnt carry our friendship onto a relationship.
I was totally heart broken because she was the absolute perfect girl for me, And i dont think i spoke for about a month.
That was a year ago.
And ive never met a girl half as good or as nice as her.
Am i destined to walk this planet alone?
Im constantly ridiculed for wanting a girl with a nice personality, and someone that isnt afraid to express themselves, instead of wanting a hot girl to have sex with and go down to the pub with.
Wow. You just described my boyfriend and I. I was just like you in highschool part of college, and so was he (only high school). We both love Death Metal and he used to be in band called Decrepit Heart on myspace (rip), I think you understand. I love Killswitch, Unearth, As I lay Dying, All SHALL PERISH is my all time favorite but I love classics like Slayer and Metallica. Not a big fan of cannibal for I hope obvious reasons.
I pretty much hate society and what it has become BUT I do try and open up and find things to relate to people about do I do see what very little hope they have (and still hate them haha). Although your classmates suck and are clearly uneducated and stupid, try and relate to them.
I KNOW, it sounds crazy BUT you will slowly realise that if you try and relate to other PEOPLE how much more human you seem to them and I dont mean this in a mean way I mean it literally....and I can almost guarantee they will feel bad for the way they treated you in the past. They see you as 'sub human or freakish' well prove them wrong!
Second offering. Joke with them or make fun of them back! Don't be so serious but stand up for yourself.
I get you dude I really do, people are so obsessed with materialistic sh** that isn't going to be around when you die, about what's cool and how many girls or guys they have slept with. Woopee ding dang doo, you have a lose vagina how cool is that? (not). Just make fun of them be like 'Oh I'm a freak well at least I dont have AIDS and sleep with people I barely know and regret it and cry like a little b*tch every time I look in the mirror" or something stupid, seriously! FAV儿劣 them!
We go out the way we came in, but society is what it is. I'm not saying 'become a clone be like them', no that's stupid. Be yourself and be proud of it! Don't take it personally, you will find somebody it just takes time.
You are so young and you slayer here comes the pain lyricshave your whole life ahead of you and I know it's hard but try and think positively. If it happened once, chances are it will happen again.
Good luck and I hope this helped.
your question is
"Am i destined to walk this planet alone?"
my answer is
"only you can deside where you walk and with who"
sht idk how to help you,
just be yourself
It seems like you feel that all people who listen to mainstream music listen to it because they just want to be popular or fit in. I listen to mainstream music because I like it not because I want to fit in and be popular. I agree Rihanna isn't all that great and the type of music you listen to isn't the only music that talks about rape,pain,drugs and etc. I hate 50 cent and Lil Wayne they are worthless trash who rap about girl's vagina's also money and blah blah blah. Yes your college classmates are uneducated and disrespectful AV儿劣AV儿劣* who don't know how to accept somebody with different interests in things.My best friend listens to kinda the same music as you and I always jokingly tease her to get better music in her ipod he he he but we laugh about it. Your just like me I hate those sluts and man whores who think it's all about getting laid,I hate being near those kinds of people they make me sick also they arn't very nice. All I'm saying is to open up to other people with different interests and stop blaming the people who don't accept you because your doing the same thing them. You don't accept them so they won't accept you try putting on a Lady Gaga or a Beyonce shirt I'm pretty sure you'll make friends with your classmates ;) lol just kidding
It seriously does get annoying to be in a situation like that, doesn't it? Looking for somebody with an actual personality and a bit of taste about them. Don't give up, because you can still meet somebody as nice as the girl you did before, I promise. Just, keep looking :)
I find it awesome that you have a strong opinion about who you are and what you stand for. I think people who choose to label others are shallow and usually don't care about other people mostly themselves. Not all people are like this though. I do know lots are because I have been labled an outcast myself for being in choir and listening to bands like My Chemical Romance. But there are lots of people out in the world who like the music you do and the styles you like. You really just have to be a firm believer in what you stand for which I'm sure you are, and you just have to keep your spirits up and put yourself out their and you should meet girls and people with similar interests.
Good luck to you, and hope this helps ^_^
I would date you if I lived near you and was single. You're my kind of guy. People like us are diamonds in the rough. We can't be with just anybody. Your girl will come along.
First of all, your perceptions about other people are WAY off base. i understand that as a teenager and even into your early 20s, it can seem like everyone is trying to be in the 'popular' group, just trying to fit in. And maybe that everyone really IS different from you.
But as you get older, go through more life experiences and learn more, and other people do too - it changes. At least a good 50% of those people change too. They make more diverse friends, discover new interests, new music, become more their true selves instead of what they think others want.
In high school I was an overachieving cheerleader, nearly a 4.0, high scores and tons of activities. But I secretly hated the life I'd made for myself. Starting about my 3rd year of college I began to branch out and discover myself. I quit my sorority (yes, you can laugh at me now) and really got into my true passions. These included gaming, building computers, science fiction, and even costuming ala DragonCon. So the cheerleader....became the scifi and computer nerd. Now I am happy to go to things like geek trivia nights and all night lan parties, I compete with my friends to see who has more 360 achievements and we talk about our next costumes for the next convention.
I think you seem to cling to your death metal and your Cannibal Corpse t-shirts as a sign of your individuality. But you don't have to put it all out there, just like you don't have to wear Banana Republic. It seems like you are using it as a shield to keep people from getting too close. Just try to be more open to others, and maybe tone down the "I listen to music that puppykillers like" thing a little.
But you HAVE to stop being angry at the world! That will only make you bitter and you really will end up alone. My ex went around angry at everything and everyone because he was teased for being fat as a kid. It ruined our relationship and he has never had another girlfriend, because he takes everything personally like "I'm a loser and not good enough, so I'm not even going to try." And for the record, my current long-term boyfriend listens to a lot of metal music and every month or so, drags a bloody looking t-shirt out of his closet. He just knows that it's not my thing, so he listens to it alone and goes to those concerts with his friends. We share plenty of other things and have a great, happy life.
Whew... were to start?
You are not doomed. I don't know you, but it seems like you are a bright kid who has some problems accepting that society has norms and that you pride yourself in standing outside of them. I am not saying that there is anything wrong with that. I am 36 and I listen to a lot of the bands you do (among others) and had a mohawk and wore all black during my teenage years, but consider myself a fairly conservative person in my adulthood. I matured enough to recognize that the world was not going to change for me, so if there were certain things I wanted out of the world I would have to change to get them. If it is the music that you like, who says you have to wear concert t-shirts all the time to like the music? You need to find somewhere to go where people who identify themselves the way you do hang out. There is someone for everyone in this world and you needn't have to work really hard to find the person. Things happen when you are actually ready for them to happen, not when you think you are ready for them.
If you want people to accept you then try to get them to view you in the light that you view yourself, but don't be combative if they don't. Take it as you having more work to do if they don't. While not drawing a moral comparison, you are generically facing the same thing gay people do in society, minorities do, etc. Essentially, your appearance and views put you in the cultural miniority, so you have to work to make others more accepting of your views, not criticize them for theirs.
Hang in there!
First off let me start by saying...rhiana is horrible i agree. And no i HIGHLY doubt tslayer here comes the pain lyricshat you will be alone. Just gotta find people more like you. I think you will be okay. Im a metal head my self and most guys liked me more for it??? I wonder what highschool and college you went to? I cant really give you an answer but i will say this dont give up and be yourself. And as for those egotistic ignorant spoiled children they arn't going anywhere in life by judging people so dont even bother worrying =] =] =]
i think you'll be just fine it just takes awhile
This answer is coming from an expressive "hippy chick" (for lack of a better word) who is often described as "quirky", "sarcastic", "odd", and "much, MUCH too happy." I am shy, but I make friends easily with those who want to get to know me. I squeak when tickled and speak before thinking sometimes, which makes for some pretty interesting situations. I tend to smile a lot, and giggle at inappropriate times. I do indeed listen to many of the bands you have mentioned, but mainstream music leaves my speakers as well. I dressed like a "goth girl" in high school, then I realized that I was working way too hard to look a certain way when I didn't need to do that in order to be myself.
I'm expecting that you'll respect these personality traits, as well as my opinions, since I notice that you have an affinity for things that are different... Which should, if my assumptions are correct, mean that you also respect those who are different from YOU.
I have to say that I enjoyed these tangents of yours. I like the way you think, and please don't take this the wrong way, but I get the impression that you think too concretely. I'm not talking in the creative sense, I mean when it comes to people. I could be wrong... let me explain:
You hating mainstream music the same way people hate the genres that you perceive to be more artistic is, as far as I'm concerned, the same general concept.
It's like someone who enjoys realist paintings looking at an abstract painting and saying "this is not a painting." Both are, indeed, paintings... they are simply DIFFERENT. It doesn't even mean that one is normal and the other differs from the norm. It's that they're different from each other. Most artists don't start out saying "Oh, I want the entire world to hear/see me and love my art/music." They start out saying "I want to put my art/music out there and show my talent." You may not think people like Rhianna have talent, those people in your class might not think Cannibal Corpse is any good. That is not the point here. The point is that they're both trying to spread their music to anyone who wants to listen to it...
Besides that, no matter how different any famous or semi-famous musicians are, they do all have one thing in common- and that is that they can sing/play a hell of a lot better than I can. :-) Seriously, if you ever see me get onto a karaoke stage, run as fast and as far as you can.
... I digress.
Moving on-- it seems that you generalize people according to what they listen to. By not being open-minded about what they like, by blatantly insulting those who disagree, you're not giving people the chance to get to know your good traits... and you have good traits. I can tell just by how concerned you are with being alone, and that you respect a woman for who she is instead of wanting a piece of AV儿劣.
If you want to meet someone else, you need to stop thinking that the only good woman for you is a female version of yourself. I've been with my fiance for over 2 years, and let me tell you-- if he was just like me, I would have gotten bored with him, really quickly. We're opposites, although we do share some interests. We both love the outdoors and hiking, we both love horseback riding, and we both like to try new things even if one of us thinks it's going to be boring. The truth is, being with someone so different from yourself is interesting. You never really stop learning from that person. I've introduced him to the world of photography and impressionist paintings, as he has introduced me to engines and classic cars. My strengths lie in academics, his are in working with his hands. We help each other out, we teach each other things, we expose each other to things we'd never have even thought of by ourselves. Because we can compromise and love each other for our similarities as well as our differences, our relationship becomes stronger all the time.
Now think about all of those "preppy" girls, and ask yourself-- Have you even tried to give any of them a chance? I know a lot of "preppy" girls who are actually really cool, individual thinkers. Being an individual doesn't mean being anti-mainstream. If someone likes mainstream style, they're free to wear trendier clothes. Individuality is all in the mind. None of those preppy girls are exactly like the other, it just appears so to someone who isn't looking. But I bet some of them are prissy girls and other like dirt bikes. I'm guessing they're looking for different things in guys. I'm also guessing that some are actually bitchy and others just appear to be because they're associated with their friends.
I think that you have one problem and one problem only-- you are looking for a style and a personality in one. You're looking for yourself in a woman, for someone just like that ideal girl who got away, when you should be trying to get to know ALL SORTS of people.
... Do not take this to mean I think the outspoken ones are in the right. I think that they're being narrow-minded bitches and missing out on a good thing. They're ridiculous if they think that you have to be like them to be a good person. They'll grow up, though... most of them, anyway. And the best thing you could do when that happens is forgive them for shunning you due to materialistic things like music genres and clothes.
You're not destined to be alone, you just need to be more open and hope other follow your lead. Something good will come to you eventually. Think of it this way-- you're 19... you've got (potentially) up to 80 more years to live. :-) There's time. Don't stress, but don't lose hope either. Something good will come for you.
Loser.
wayyy tooooo long. shorten it up if you need people's opinion
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